I used to live someplace, but I moved.

I have been banished from my cushy suburban paradise with its shopping malls and broadband internet access. I've gone far away. Across the Susquehanna. Not far from the banks of the Juniata. I now live in...sigh...Perry County. Yes, that's right, Perry County. The same Perry County in which the deer outnumber the people you ask? Aye. The Perry County that is known as one of the densest concentrations of interbreeding says you? Aye. So the pizzaria, video rental place, motel and tattoo parlor make up the "business district" of the nearest town you wonder? Aye. You get winded just walking to the nearest road where your mailbox sits inquires you? Aye. The Comcast cable company can't figure out where the heck it is that you are trying to get cable you ponders? One and the same, Perry County. Oh, I got excited the other day cause I thought I saw my first black person in Perry County walking down the road. But alas, it was only a really dirty white guy.